Anxiety - 0, Grace - 1

Oct 29, 2017
3 min read

Today I thought you’d beat her, like you normally do! Today began the same as many others, first with pleading, then a little begging and finally with defiance “I don’t want to go, I’m not going!”

Tears were already streaming, she refused to get dressed and I thought “You buggar, bloody anxiety – you are not winning today!”

I coated her in Essential Oils, sunscreened her to the max. I went through my mental box of tools to get her in the car. Hubby and I went through the talk on “what today would be, how she can beat the fear and all the fun she would have.” So, on the drive she quietened down and seemed to be resolved but then as we pulled into the car park the ANXIETY evolved.

She refused to get out the car even with dads supportive words, she kept repeating “I am not going.” “I will not surf” and tears were everywhere. Dad finally pried the door open and pried her from her seat.

We were greeted by the smiley faces of the volunteers and coach, ready to teach our lill Grace - how to surf. We knew this was a luxury specially organised by Sensory Souls, with coaches, kids and volunteers who understand and know. If she was going to try to surf it was here with these patient, caring people.

But again the Anxiety kicked in and she hid behind our clothes, cried many tears and simply froze.

Michael spoke in a soft voice saying to Grace, “it was okay” and I was thinking “FU Anxiety, please not today!”

Surfboards laid out ready, with a talk on how to stand, I watched Gracie deadly, gripping daddies hand. She wasn’t going in – you could just tell – Anxiety was going to win! Then a kind and caring volunteer came & spoke and before you know it - her and dad were getting pretty close.

She eased her way to water and stood on the edge, watching the other kids. 15 minutes passed and I had walked away to “let them work their magic” and see if she would play....

The lady grabbed her hand and eased her in – “FU Anxiety, now I know you won’t win!”

They got her further out to where the waves were breaking, I held my breath and thought “Please, whoevers out there, just let her have a go.” My silent prayers were answered as they pushed her on the board, she cautiously lay on her belly and boogie boarded in.

The next time she sat up and faster in she came. There was still no smile, a serious face in pain. Her mind was still worried, her mind ticking over, her battle just begun....she didn’t realise she’d already won!

30 minutes later and the coaches were cheering for our Grace, she stood up and surfed right in like she belonged and found her place!

She was born to love the water - always has, but the Anxiety that stops her, confines her, wont let her enjoy life, constricts, defines her! But today with the help of so many, today with a little bit of strength, persistence and determination – she won!